short leash

greetings and salutations, as they say...i'm talking to so many people i do not know, and yet, i'm really just talking to my self, to spirit, to the realm of the guides and anges who seem to guide my everyday world...

i seem to be on a short leash...

after a wild northern california tour, i am back in the saddle in san diego...bringing together so many facets of my being for some altruistic cause.

the coyotes make such eerie noises here in the coastal desert...i haven't seen the ocean here for the few weeks i've been here... the haze lingers.

but i'm pulling so many things together it is engaging to be so determined to make this mosaic come to life. all the images, lyrics, prose, events, choreography, designs, prayers, rituals, and people...they all have their place.

And while i'm being creative...so many suffer...so i pray...to be of assistance, whether by inspiration, information, donations, and all the rest...

namaste, world, i'm feelin' ya!

desert evening near the southern coast of california

oooooooo, child, things are going to get easier....oooooooo child, things will be brighter...someday, someday...what a wild summer...working day and night...non-stop...but its getting alright...things falling together...again...at last...again...[breathing...sigh]

pure emotion seems boring unless we take it deep enough to really mean something...

lotus goddess heart

THE LOTUS BLOSSOM

No: it is not yours to open buds into blossoms. Shake the bud, strike it; it is beyond your power to make it blossom. Your touch soils it, you tear its petals to pieces and strew them in the dust. But no colours appear, and no perfume. Ah! it is not for you to open the bud into a blossom.

He who can open the bud does it so simply. He gives it a glance, and the life-sap stirs through its veins. At his breath the flower spreads its wings and flutters in the wind. Colours flush out like heart-longings, the perfume betrays a sweet secret. He who can open the bud does it so simply.
On the day when the lotus bloomed, alas, my mind was straying, and I knew it not. My basket was empty and the flower remained unheeded.

Only now and again, a sadness fell upon me, and I started up from my dream and felt a sweet trace of a strange fragrance in the south wind. That vague sweetness made my heart ache with longing and it seemed to me that is was the eager breath of the summer seeking for its completion.

I knew not then that it was so near, that it was mine, and that this perfect sweetness had blossomed in the depth of my own heart.
-Tagore


CHANDOGYA UPANISHAD EXCERPT

In the center of the castle of Brahman, our own body, There is a small shrine in the form of a lotus flower and within can be found a small space.
We should find who dwells there and we should want to know her. And if anyone asks, "Who is she who lives in a small shrine in the form of a lotus flower in the center of the castle of Brahman?"

We can answer: "The little space within the heart is as great as the universe. The heaven and the earth are there; the sun, the moon, the stars; fire and lightening and winds ... For the whole universe is in Her and She dwells within our hearts."

*Mercury is retrograde in Aries: a time of introspection of self.

New moon in Aries brings re-birth of self-awareness.

We're going deeper...

you do what you can

too many moons pass without a peep
then like an unexpected wave
the flood gates open

this past year has been one of intense focus
i guess it takes a lot of bricks to lay the foundation
for something as big as i'm envisioning

the endless learning of life living through me
gets ups early and stays up late
somedays i just garden to feel the earth and
smell the sweet blooms of Spring

other times, its four a.m. and i'm just listening
to the night...so peaceful...i almost feel guilty
enjoying the sanctuary that i've created

to birth the dream alive
to surf the contractions
and edge the stream

this is what my life has been about

i record my dreams
drum up new raw gourmet dishes
coach others how to birth their dreams

and yet, am waiting for my turn
i mean i walk in Truth everyday
but Life seems to have another lesson

the Goddess philosophy is so misunderstood
yet it is so sacred and beyond powerful
it takes me so deep within my consciousness

a long time ago, I thought, lifestyle is the ultimate art form
and in this push-button, hi-speed world,
i still agree...

Too few, the many...

Can you hear them? The sweet morning creatures that sing with the joy of children. Birdsong... Not since I lived in Maryland have I heard such lovely sounds. Northern California didn't seem to have these sweet sounding birds. With the Tranquility CD playing softly, all night long, I'm wondering if I will now make it to bed, and rest, or dream.

The passion I've re-kindled for my life, now keeps me up most nights. I have so much to say, and feel, and express. It's not so much for others, though I do want to contribute to this global transformation. I feel the depths of my own being evolving as I endeavor with each work of art, each email, each website I build, each walk on the beach.

Connecting with people is perhaps where just as many peak experiences happen. The dynamic synergy of sympathetic resonance is so exhilariting. When we gather together, I re-discover the vistas I've found in my soul, during my solitary quests. The shades of light and dark sculpt my technicolor existence. The weary lapses of adequate stimulation are no match for the brillance of the dawning consciousness that shines ever brighter.

I've started the Music Club. Teach voice. Write screenplays, songs, books, letters, and web copy. I phone family and friends. Each moment brings so much meaning. Guided by the wisdom which is inherent in each moment, for I seek it out, my heart is calm, my mind peaceful, and my soul more alive. There are few truths, but those that exist, seem eternal and infinite.

W.O.W.

Wonders of the world...

I was chosen to be one of 150 artists, chosen from more than 1500 applicants, to participate in Tim Sweeney's Independent Artists Conference!!! Nobody makes me laugh and cry so often as Tim did this past week. For four days, we dove deep into our psyches in order to re-emerge as saavy, truly independent artists. This means I know who I am as an artist and what my music is about. I've got it down to a minute: Yes, well, I'm bringing the Goddess mainstream with my genre-fusing magic that gets people up dancing with the trancing and diving into the heart with some soulful ballads. My music weaves tales of power, love, spirituality, and evolution. Birthing new sounds...that's my gig.

Also found out some people close to me are dying or dead. I mean, dropping their bodies, checkin-out... Sad for us, probably pretty cosmic for them. Hope they say "Hi" to my brother and other family and friends that have gone before... Life is the Trip, or just a time out?! Seems all about the heart, if you ask me. Guess, I 'll keep diving deeper... Makes me want to say, "Find out who your friends are, and then take real good care of them." Ain't nothing can ever replace them.

Don't Blink!

It's been about a month exactly since my first and most recent post. That gives you an idea about how busy I've been. Now I'm zoomin' in preparation for a music conference. I've been swirled up in logistics, but I still write lyrics all the time. The vocal coaching I've been doing is really great. My clients are the best! They are so dedicated, so we're on the same wavelength and cheer each other onward.

Art is everywhere and nowhere. Everywhere because my mind perceives as only an artist would. And nowhere, because there is never enough in this age of aesthetic sterility. What was the last, most excellent, transcendent-inspiring work-of-art that you heard, saw, watched, or experienced? Really, I'd love to know. There's more inspiration that we all need.

But life keeps zooming...that Pink Floyd line..."and then one day you find, ten years have passsed you by..." is too true. Don't blink, you'll want to savor every moment. Especially in Ayla's Universe.

STARS 4 AYLA - the blog begins

Now, this is what I like.
Time and cyberspace to expand my universe.
How are you?
Things are percolating here in Ayla-land.
With a new pink living space,
and a new peach-coloured studio,
I'm in Ayla-Heaven!

Walks on the beach have been
great of late.

Lots of classical music when I'm not making my own.

This summer is going to be fantastic!